Fear and Loneliness
The despair of knowing oneself as other
I painted this piece after reading the book “Ningen Shikkaku” or “No Longer Human” by Ozamu Dasai. A harrowing autobiographical tale of the life of Ōba Yōzō. Its Japanese title 人間失格 can be translated to “Disqualified as a human being” and covers themes such as alienation, fear, depression, suicide, and addiction from the personal perspective of its protagonist. The book is comprised of three notebooks, each corresponding to one period of his life, as well as a prologue and epilogue that serve as anchors to the narrative.
I’ve had this book recommended to many many times over the years, but never got around to it. When I did, I ended up reading it in a couple sittings. It’s a heavy book, but I knew that already. I really like it, I like the way it approached it’s themes, it feels raw and unpleasant at times but I like how honest and upfront it is about things that are normally frowned upon or, never talked about in the hopes that it will go away. Ōba feels so human, and it’s different from other first person narratives I’ve read before. You can just feel the shamelessness and conflicting fear of the character, as well as a hint of resentment. And I honestly think we all have a little bit of that inside of us.
